Fun Times with Annoying Viruses

So, lets see.  A little over a week ago, my old laptop somehow got hit with an annoying virus.  It shut down my firefox, and started loading some sort of spyware antivirus program.  Which I immediately figured was a fake program because it was asking for money.  I've never had any of my antivirus software ask me for money.
This horrible virus loaded in, and took over my internet and killed my avira.  I couldn't do anything.  As if my decrepit laptop wasn't destroyed enough with its busted hinges, hit or miss fans, slow processor, and laundry list of other issues, now I have this virus to contend with.  So my friend was kind enough to offer to help me reinstall XP on my craptop.  When we sat down to back up some files, the power kept shorting out.  This was new to me.  Turns out, the wires connecting to the power source had been exposed and started to fray.  Pinching the cord helped keep the power flowing, but the exposed wires were getting too hot to touch.  I tried using one of the clamps I use to prop up my screen, but I could smell burning plastic, and that's when we noticed that the wires were glowing.  Hooray for fire hazards.  :P  Apparently it was too much stress for it to travel. 
I decided that it was finally time to take old blue off life support and let her go.  Now she is sitting over in the corner in her old bag collecting dust.

Now, because it was finally over with I decided to replace her with a previously owned laptop.  She is pretty silver and white.  A billion times faster. A nice new wide screen compared to blues square screen.  Way more hard drive space.  Windows 7.  She's incredible.  I love her.

Everything was going so well.  I was on a cloud.  Until I got hit with the same horrible virus (with a new name).  For the last week now I have been struggling to get this thing under control.  I wasn't sure where it came from or how I got it.  After some research though, I have decided that it might be linked to DeviantArt.  I'm not blaming them... yet, because I don't understand the intricacies of horrible annoying viruses, and how they can just suddenly upload to my HD, disable my internet and antivirus, rendering me to an angry raging blob on my couch.  I still think the two are connected though.  I've also been reading claims that if I had a premium paid for account with DA that I wouldn't be susceptible to these virus invasions.  Which kind of makes me think, "Why would they say that?  Is it a ploy to get me to pay for their account?",  and then I put on my conspiracy theorist hat and think "Did DA have something to do with this virus?"  My mind goes on and on from there, but as I keep reading posts and blogs, it turns out I'm not alone on this thought path.

I've scanned and safe moded and recovered and restored and rebooted and cryed and screamed and swore and cursed.  None of it is working.  Tonight, I wipe and reinstall Win7, and start all over.  My plan of action after that, is I am going to be abandoning DA for a while.  It breaks my heart because I love checking my favorite artists updates, but it has to be done for now.  Maybe I'll be able to do back some day.

I hope this fresh start works.  I hope it hasn't affected my external HD.  *fingers crossed*